


Loving And Losing Together

by LeftyVoyager



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 06:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3317378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeftyVoyager/pseuds/LeftyVoyager
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is an "Unforgettable" epilogue.  Chakotay and Janeway review their notes on his strange romance that neither of them can remember.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loving And Losing Together

Loving and Losing Together

Chakotay strode onto the bridge in the morning with an unsettled feeling in his stomach and several pages of replicated paper in his hand.  He was glad that Janeway was already in her ready room - he had to talk to her about this.  He waved to Tuvok indicating that he is still in command of the bridge and rang the captain's door chime.

"Come in," she answered flatly.  He wondered if maybe she was in a bad mood and it would be a bad idea to approach her with his issue.  However, he knew it was right to bring it to her attention.

"Captain?" he asked as he approached cautiously.  To his dismay, he saw that she had several sheets of paper in front of her.  "You kept a record, too," he gasped.

"Do you remember?" she asked, looking at him intently, trying to glean anything from his expression.

"No - not a thing," he answered.

She blushed in embarrassment.  "I know I have no right, Chakotay, but this bothers the hell out of me."

He matched her expression as he remembered the day he said the same exact words to her.  When Q decided to court her for a while.  "I can't even imagine how it happened.  But I guess it's not the first time I've gotten carried away," he commented.

"It's not being carried away.  It's living in the moment.  A gift that you have for taking advantage of opportunities.  It's all right," she sighed.  "It shouldn't even bother me.  I'm your friend."

"How much did I tell you?" he asked.

"Nothing.  According to my notes, I heard from Seven of Nine," she sighed.  "I only knew in the beginning that you and Kellin... bonded... during her last visit."

"Oh, Kathryn.  I can't believe I was so insensitive.  You're my best friend," said Chakotay.  He ran his hand through his hair in frustration.  "Is it possible this didn't really happen?  That it's all just words?"

"Who knows, but I am getting tired of the aliens in this region of space.  Being able to board my ship without being detected, experimenting on my crew, using us in all manners of ways.  And those are the nicer ones."  She stood from her desk and began pacing, wrapping her arms around herself defensively.  "This one was on our ship for days and no one remembers.  Twice."

Chakotay watched for a minute, trying to build up courage for what he wanted to say.  "Kathryn, do you want to read what I wrote?"

"What?" she asked.  The thought of swapping notes hadn't occurred to her.  "No - you don't have to.  It's not my business.  But if you want to read mine, it's all right with me."

"I'm not sure.  I want to hear your perspective, but it seems too personal.  I will tell you that I hardly believe what I wrote.  It's my handwriting.  But it's.....  I don't know if it was love, but I was clearly infatuated with her.  I can't even imagine what she looked like."  He stopped, biting his bottom lip.  He wanted to tell her that when he imagined the scenes described in his notes, the only face he could see in his mind was hers.  But he couldn't.  Parameters.  She set them, but he agreed.  However, the underlying feelings were there, always there.  How could he have forgotten so easily?  Did he have some strange ability to compartmentalize his feelings?  First, there was Riley.  Now this woman.  Twice!  But strangely, not the third time.  When he was the romantic aggressor, Kellin didn't fall for him.  Maybe she had been manipulating him, like Riley.  Or maybe I'm really a pig, he thought.

"You look so sad, Chakotay.  Don't feel guilty.  You fell in love - it's a rare opportunity in life that only happens so many times.  Embrace it," Janeway said, looking away.

"I can almost understand how you feel now," said Chakotay quietly.

She gave him a questioning glance.  "What do you mean?"

"I found someone I cared about, maybe even loved this much," he said, holding up his papers.  "And she walked away from me.  You found someone you loved enough to promise marriage to.  And circumstance forced him to leave you."

Janeway smirked, finding some irony in the situatuation, at last.  "So that makes us peas in a pod.  Two miserable old lonely people."

"Old?  Speak for yourself, Kathryn!" laughed Chakotay.

She walked over to where he stood in front of her desk and placed her hand on his chest.  "Chakotay, I know it was awkward, but I'm glad we could have this conversation."

"Agreed," he answered.

She looked up towards the door and took his hand.  "Well then, shall we?"

He smiled and squeezed her hand.  "Let's."  They walked onto the bridge together to face a new day in the Delta Quadrant.

The End.


End file.
